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The other day, I called my national wireless provider.  The nice lady in customer service asked me all the security questions: postal code, account number and first and last name.

And then she says “And may I call you Laura?”

Huh?  What else would she call me?  Princess?  She Who Must Be Obeyed? (This is a popular moniker at home).  Or perhaps Madame?  That has a nice, colourful ring to it.

I said that Laura would be fine but it really got me thinking.

Who would have expected that level of graciousness and respect on the frontlines of a wireless company that everyone loves to hate?

At my Tim Horton’s drive though, they now say “Welcome to Tim Hortons.  My name is Barb.  How can I help you?”  It’s certainly better than the muffled “Whadywant?” that we used to get.

Maybe this is a new movement.  Maybe the level of personal accountability and respect is going to increase in other places too.  Imagine if crankiness was gradually replaced with grins and crustiness was washed away by candor?

Other than Bart Simpson being out of a job, I can’t think of any downsides at all.  And yes, you can call me Laura.

Prince William and Kate Middleton had their first outing today.  They blessed a new lifeboat and poured champagne on it.

Imagine the interview questions that Kate had to answer for her to get promoted from “Royal Girlfriend” to “Royal Fiancé”?

• Have you ever been in a situation where your attire was scrutinized on the evening news?
• How strong are your smile muscles?  Could you smile for an hour?  Two?  Could you do it even if William pissed you off in the car on the way over?
• How do you deal with inlaws?  Have you ever had them before?  When they invite you to drop by for tea, do they mean it?
• Would you describe your ideal pet as a horse, a corgi or a Doberman?
• How important is your opinion?  Could you deal with being misquoted and having things taken out of context frequently?

When she got through all of this, there would still be references to be checked and I am sure that the security check goes back three generations.

I wish them all the best for a fairytale wedding in this cynical world.

Yesterday on Oprah, (I’ll probably never use that opening line again…) the guest was Iyanla Vanzant,  a woman who had been a one of Oprah’s regular guests 11 years ago.

Like Dr Phil and Suze Orman, Oprah was planning for Iyanla to spin off her own show.  Eventually.  Oprah felt that her production company was not mature enough to handle that kind of expansion yet but it was definitely in the long term plan.

Iyanla was making such a splash the she was noticed by the competition and got invited to dinner by none other than Barbara Walters.  It went quite well and Barbara’s people offered to develop a show for her.

But she said no.  No way.  She was doing the Oprah thing and very happy.

Then she got to thinking “why not now?”  Things were going so well.  Maybe she should capitalize on it while she was hot.

So she called a meeting with Oprah and her producer to tell Oprah that she was ready for her own show.  Now.  She shared that she had been approached by another company to do that very thing.

Oprah was quite taken aback, as any manager would be.  She decided that if that was her wish, she was not going to stand in her way.  Oprah’s lawyer called Iyanla the next to tell her that she was free to pursue other options and that they wished her well.

Oprah thought that they were doing her a favour by releasing her from her Oprah-induced obligations.

Here’s the problem:

• She had the meeting with Oprah after fasting for seven days.
• She did not actually have an offer from the other company.
• She loved her current role.

None of these factors were part of the discussion.  Her manager only heard “I’ve been approached by someone else and I want to progress right now.”

If she had been more clear, less forceful or perhaps, eaten a sandwich before the meeting, things might have been different.

So be careful when you think it’s time for a change.  Phrase carefully and consider how what you say will sound to your manager.  Once it’s out there, you can never take it back.  And just because Oprah forgives, does not mean your manager will.

So you have scored an interview….cool.  Now what?

After you make sure that your shirt is pressed and your socks match, move on to the research phase.

Research is more than using mapquest to find out where you are going.  It’s more than reading the company’s website.

Research falls into two basic categories: the person you are meeting and the organization for which they work.

Is the hiring manager on linkedin?  How long have they worked at the company?  Have they been promoted?  Where did they go to school?  Have they always been in this business?

Is the company public or private?  What does the corporate structure look like?  Where is the headquarters?  Have they won awards or been recognized for special activities?  Are expanding? Do they have a new product line?

Investing this time will pay big dividends.  It will give you just that bit of extra confidence when you walk in and shake hands with the interviewer.  It will also help you pick the anecdotes from your career that you are going to use as examples in the inevitable behavioral questions.  You can pick stories that are going to really resonate with the hiring team.

The last and maybe the biggest reason to do all this research is to make sure that the organization is aligned with your values and mission.

There is nothing worse than bragging about your new job offer to your friends and having someone ask how that massive product recall is affecting them or whether the class action lawsuit has been settled.  Sure, it’s never too late to back out but wouldn’t it be better to have known about it from the get go?

I had the good fortune yesterday to attend the Human Resources Professionals Association (HRPA) Conference and Trade Show in Toronto.

Ian Martin Ltd had a booth in the trade show area so I got to stand around talking to HR Pros all day.  I talked to someone who came all the way from Halifax to attend the conference.  The agenda was packed with top shelf sessions and there was a lot of great energy in the whole convention centre.

Perhaps the best part of the day was lunch.  The rubber chicken was nothing to write home about but the keynote speaker was Bill Taylor, one of the Founding Editors of Fast Company magazine.

He told one great story after another.  It was just awesome.  He studies companies that are doing things right and then distills their experience into little nuggets that you can tuck into the back of your mind.  When you find yourself having a crappy day, you pull out one of these inspire-o-nuggets and chew on it for a while.  It is sure to give you a refreshed perspective and maybe some new energy to tackle the pile of stuff that needs to be done.

• Don’t let what you don’t know limit your imagination.
• Are you learning as fast as the world is changing?
• Just because you can enter a space/role/project, does not mean that you should especially if it runs counter to your culture or values.
• It used to be that the big, established companies would win business by default.  Now it is the smart companies that are winning business.

You can read more about Bill here and here.

It’s winter here in Canada and if you are doing the interview circuit, you need to be prepared.

There is nothing worse than sniffling during a conversation.  You try to be subtle by wiggling your nose or casually wiping your sleeve near your nose but face it: there is no substitute for a tissue.  So start each day by putting one in your pocket, sleeve or bra strap.

If you have a bit of a cough or a tickle (and who doesn’t these days), then put some lozenges or tic tacs in your pocket, purse or briefcase. You can pop one while you are waiting for your meeting to start.  It will give you something to do with your hands.

Make sure you give yourself extra time before the interview but don’t hang around the reception area – that’s not cool.  Plan to take a few minutes in the lobby for your body temperature to sort itself out.  Your face and hands will be cold but your armpits will be working overtime so rather than greet the person you are meeting with cold hands and the tell-tale half moons of nervousness, spend a few minutes in the lobby.  Take off your coat, blow your nose and wait until everything comes to room temperature.  Then head upstairs to announce your presence.

Finally, no matter how much of a Tim Horton’s or Starbucks fan you are, don’t take your coffee into the meeting unless you are prepared to offer some to the other person.

So to sum up:  arrive early, finish your latte in the lobby, pop a tic tac and set yourself up for a great conversation.

When people ask me how long I have been recruiting, I usually respond with “Long enough to know what I am doing”.

I don’t answer that way to be smarmy (well, maybe sometimes..) but because once you get past the novice stage, does it really matter?

If I have been using a skill for eight years or ten years or 15 years, then clearly I have developed some mastery of it.  What is really important is what I have achieved with the skill not how long I have been doing it.

What’s more powerful?

20 years of experience in blah, blah and blah.

OR

High performing blah with specific expertise in blah.

To utilize my 15 years of experience in blah.

OR

To help a team achieve blah with my skills in blah and blah.

See the difference?  In each case, the second statement conveys a much better sense of what you actually can do.

Can you spot another difference?  The first statement is all about you and contrary to popular belief, a resume is not really about you but about how your experience can help an employer fix a problem or fill a gap.

Your resume should be a billboard for your top skills and what you been able to achieve using them.

When I tell people what I do for a living, they nod knowingly but I know the truth.  People have no idea what “headhunters” really do.  The label conjures images of short, hairy people with spears out looking for the perfect specimen of nuclear engineer who will let nothing stand in the way of bagging the big catch.

That all sounds very glamorous but frankly, a bit far-fetched.  We are really about relationships, balance and respect.

It’s kind of like being the host of a big dating game.  We listen to the hiring manager and learn about the kind of person they are looking for.  We ask a lot of questions about the situation, previous relationships, places where possible candidates might be hanging out and so on.

Then we start researching.  We sift through resume databases.  We talk to people who know other people.  While we are doing this, we are watching for patterns and styles that are going to fit well with what the client needs.

When things begin to line up, introductions are made.  The first interview is really a blind date.  We hope it goes better than the one with your neighour’s cousin, but it’s the same kind of thing.

If that first date goes well, then the next step is like going on a dinner date – something a little more formal, perhaps with some other people in the group, maybe you get a tour afterwards.

And if all of that falls into place and both parties are presenting balanced and enthusiastic feedback, then you start the process of meeting the in-laws, looking at the dowry and begin to plan the wedding.

Notice there was no mention of spearing, yelling or shoving?  Recruiting is about making people’s work lives better and at it’s best, it’s done with the highest level of care and respect.

It can be tough to see all the articles, blogs and webinars about unleashing the passion of your group/team/company.  Doesn’t it feel like we are all going as fast as we can?  Who has time for passion?  Does it feel like you can squeeze in another burst of energy that ignites passion in your colleagues?  Really?

Here is something to consider.  You know the thing you got about the lunch and learn?  Or the voicemail from the vendor asking if you want to attend a product launch?

Go.

Stop dismissing these opportunities out of hand.  Sure, you are busy but let’s face it; you’ve fit stuff in before.  I’m not saying that you should mess up your whole routine but would it kill you to be out of the office at a seminar for an hour?

You’ll be amazed at what a change in routine can do for your psyche.

• It will become apparent that there is a whole world carrying on while you toil in your cubicle.
• You will be with some new people who do interesting things.
• These people might want to hear about what you do.  They might think you are pretty interesting too.

When these things converge, you go back to your office feeling pretty good about what you do.  And guess what?  Managers and colleagues sense that kind of energy.  Good things seem to happen when there is some new energy: New projects, new customers, even new job opportunities.

So let’s not get carried away with developing a process to inject passion into our lives.  Just say yes to getting out of your office once in a while.

Why is it that everyone wants to have lunch together now?  People I have not spoken with in months, suddenly have this burning need to have lunch this week.  Where will they be in the third week in January when I am in the depths of despair?  Can’t we have lunch then instead?

That’s what I was thinking earlier this week but then I decided to get constructive and use these social opportunities to shore up my CFB.  CFB stands for Core Fan Base.  You know who they are:  the people who cheer on all your moves, know what to say to validate your feelings and provide support and laughter when you just need to rant.

We all have them and this is the time to shore up that foundation.  So go ahead and have lunch.  Skype the friend who is working in Europe.  Have coffee with the former colleague who has provided even wiser counsel now that she is gone.  Reconnect with the fellow from your volunteer group.

Anything you can do to strengthen your CFB now will pay big dividends later.  It will be a great comfort in the dark days of January to know that you can reach out to a handful of people for support and a big fat grin.

Lunch today?  Bring it on!