Recruiter's Couch

The next eight weeks will see lots of opportunities for networking: holiday parties, choral sing-alongs, eggnog brunches and the dreaded cookie exchanges.

Here are some guidelines to make it memorable for the conversations not the selfies.

• Don’t drink you face off.  Have one drink to be polite.  Maybe a second glass of chardonnay to wash down your meal but that’s it.  No more. Better yet, don’t drink at all.  Just tell people you are the designated driver.  Think of all the material you will get watching everyone get stupid.
• Don’t leave your hair like that.  Get it cut/highlighted this week.  Don’t wait.  Your picture will be all over the intranet and/or Facebook – make it look as good as you can.  
• Don’t stop brushing and flossing.  Keep it up.  Carry gum with you too. Just to be safe.
• Avoid the temptation to wear that ridiculous holiday sweater.  It’s too much and you know it.
• When you are in a crowd, listen more than you speak.  If you find yourself talking and you can’t remember what you started talking about, stop and excuse yourself while muttering something about finding a tissue.
• Lastly, keep your pants on.  Don’t be the silly couple making out in the stairwell out back.  They always get caught and it’s always embarrassing.  If you really need to lock lips, get a room.  We will all be grateful.

So raise a glass of soda water and party on!

Contrary to popular belief, the job world does not come to a stop just because it’s the holidays.

There are lots of great opportunities over the coming weeks to explore and exploit news, knowledge and connections.

Here are the five things you can do for your career this season:

1.  Christmas parties – office gatherings can be good for mixing with people you work with but never get to talk to.  Think about a few people you want to hang with before you go.
2. When volunteer opportunities are announced, put up your hand.  Sign up and show you care. This also gets you involved with other people in your organization and causes you to change things up a little.
3.  As the holidays come closer, people relax a little around the office.  This can be a great time to have conversations with your manager or your manager’s manager.  Don’t just chat with your cube neighbour – stretch a little.
4. This is a prime time to review and revise your resume.  Surely there are things to add.  It’s been a busy year.
5. You can really visit a headhunter or a career strategist.  (Just tell your colleagues that you are sneaking out for some last minute gift shopping.)

So don’t just check out and go shopping.  Keep your ear to the ground and your eyes open.  It might make January a whole lot more fun.

Rob Ford is my neighbour.  His office is across the street from my office.  I hope that he is not my neighbour for much longer.  It’s not that I don’t think he is doing a good job or is representing my interests (he’s not) but rather, I am worried that he is on the path to career and personal self-destruction and I don’t wish that on anyone.

Surely, there is someone in his life who can help him see the slippery slope that is alcohol and cocaine.  These are not things you do once.  Not as an adult anyway.   

The line between using these substances to relax and using these substances because you are addicted is pretty blurry.

It’s not surprising that he can’t see the mess he is in.  He is too busy returning calls to his constituents.

If he were a CEO or a Supervisor at a corporation, he would be excused for treatment.  If he was a Senator, he would be suspended (especially if he had submitted the expenses for his smoking accessories).

Surely the City of Toronto has an HR person who could find a secret back door exit and show him where it is.

It would save us all a lot of heartache and embarrassment.

Looking for a job is hard. We don’t remember that when we have a job but we sure get slammed in the face with it when we don’t.

Resumes go out into the blackness of the Web. People don’t return calls. Emails bounce back.

Short of standing on Bay Street wearing a sandwich board, what is a person to do?  

Here are some ideas:

• Write a recommendation for one of your LinkedIn connections
• Work out ( this is surprisingly refreshing)
• Register for the next event being held by your professional association or alumni group
• Invite someone for dinner, plan the meal, go shopping, prepare the meal, and enjoy the company
• Find a yoga video on youtube and try a few new poses
• Look up the number for your local food bank (trust me, you have one) and find out if and when they need help.

These activities should induce a clear mind, a sense of gratitude and a fresh bit of energy to keep putting yourself out there.

And you have to be out there because that’s the only way we can find you.

Here is a cool thing:  we are in the middle of a Words with Friends tournament at work. It’s a fund raiser for Habitat for Humanity. I have to say I was a bit nervous about the idea.  I like words but I am not an online game player.  I found it a bit intimidating frankly.

But I sucked it up and plunked down my entry fee and waited.  Sure enough, there was an invitation from a guy I don’t know to play the first round.  After some technical glitches, (like the firewall in my office) things got going.

I got skunked.  It turns out there are a lot of words I am not familiar with.  Did you know that ism is a word?  It’s a lot of points if you get it on a triple word score.

At the end of the round, we exchanged emails.  It turns out he is a pretty nice guy and a gracious winner.

This evening, I finished the third game, again with someone in my company that I don’t know.  I lost again but I’d like to think I played a little more respectably.

I don’t really expect to advance to the finals, given my scores but here’s what really happened:  three more people know who I am and what I do.  In my business, that’s a really good thing.

At this year’s holiday party, there will be a whole new crowd of people for me to meet face to face with a whole bunch of weird words in common.

All this for a good cause.  Excellent!

If you are actively or even not so actively looking for a new job, you know that it can get tedious.  It can feel like you are looking at the same postings day after day.  This is no way to get inspired.  It’s a pretty quick road to wine, scotch or a resume bonfire.

How about Pinterest?  Just head on over to pinterest.com  and throw your field/title/area of expertise in the search bar.

With a few clicks, I found marketing jobs, finance jobs and engineering jobs (although not too many of the later).

What was more interesting was the resumes, especially marketing resumes.  If you are looking for a fresh way to present yourself, look no further.  You might not want to so a super sexy infographic of your education but you might see some other cool and inspiring ideas.  Type marketing resume in the search bar and see what’s out there.

If after 30 minutes or so, you don’t find any good career ideas, you can always figure out how to renovate your bathroom or decorate your house for Halloween.

You’re welcome.

The other day, we were walking on Queen Street in downtown Toronto and as we passed one of the many bong shops, I noticed a sign in the window.

It said “Help Wanted. Resumes now being accepted.”

I could not help myself. I burst out laughing right in the middle of the sidewalk.

Exactly what qualities would a bong store manager be looking for in the ideal candidate?

• Able to take deep breaths with ease?
• Good at providing late nigh snacks?
• Highly attuned to fuzzy thinking?
• Comfortable serving customers without regard to personal morality.

Would previous experience be necessary? If so, how much? Would you need to attach a police rap sheet along with your transcript?
And who would you use for references? Your dealer? Your parole officer?
Would it add credibility if you belong to the Bong of the Month Club?

I wanted to go in to see if they needed help with their search. After all, it’s what I do for a living. (searching, not smoking….) but my husband convinced me that I was seriously lacking in street cred and that getting lunch was a better idea.

If anyone wants to apply, they are located here.

I had a good discussion with one of my friends this week about using humour at work, especially when you are new in a group or organization.  That got me thinking about humour in an interview setting.

An interview is like a first date.  You are listening and answering to see if there is a fit, to see if you get along.  Do you relate to the same things?  Do you share a common language or way of speaking?

There certainly can be some shared laughter in that kind of conversation but be careful it’s not nervous humour.  High pitched giggles and bathroom humour are definitely out.

If you are going to say something that you think is funny, check first – is it respectful and professional?  There is definitely no room for sarcasm in an interview.  Even if the hiring manager seems to be okay with it or throwing out some barbs, don’t do it.  Sarcasm is mean and even if it’s delivered in a funny way, it can still hurt someone’s feelings.

If the interviewer says something that’s funny to you, check their face before you burst out laughing.  If their eyes and mouth are not warm and smiling, perhaps it is not funny to them.  Definitely avoid laughing if they are not laughing.  This can be very awkward.

So tread carefully and pay attention.

And disregard this whole thing if you are interviewing at a Comedy Club.

The other night I had a great career experience. I got the chance to hear jazz singer and Toronto radio personality, Heather Bambrick, tell her story. It was at a meeting of the Oakville chapter of the Canadian Federation of University Women and it was awesome!

Heather had decided that the theme for her talk should be “How to be an artist and still have a mortgage”. Although, if you were listening closely, the real theme was just say yes. 

Midway through her degree in Political Science, she decided she did not really want to be a lawyer but rather a jazz singer. She finished her degree anyway and then registered to study at the University of  Toronto Faculty of Jazz.

Nearing graduation, someone asked her if she would consider teaching. She said yes.

As a successful teacher, she was still doing singing gigs and through that, someone asked if she would consider doing voice work such as commercials. She said yes.

Then her agent asked how she felt about doing voices in animated shows. Guess what?  She said yes.

At that point, her recordings were getting airplay on jazzfm and she was invited to perform at a fundraiser. The folks at the station asked how she would feel about doing a radio show. That scared her a little but she still said yes, she was open to trying it out.

So here she is today doing a keynote address, with a permanent morning radio show and a broadway review about to start touring.

Can she get a mortgage?  Yes she can.

Not everyone can be a radio host or sing beebop, but everyone can keep their eyes up and open for new opportunities. So practice raising you hand and saying yes. I don’t where it might lead you, but call me when you get there.